Top Ten Signs Your DM is Too Hard

1. You've been playing for 3 weeks, and have 76 dead characters.

2. You're playing in Darksun, but still only use Method I to roll characters.

3. Your fighter gets a bit tipsy, and piches the barmaid's bottom. The barmaid pulls out her bow and her arrow of fighter slaying.

4. Your 15th level thief just had the snot kicked out of him by an eight year old girl.

5. There are lethal traps on every latrine door.

6. Most peasants have 20 hit dice, and many know the power word, kill spell.

7. Somehow you've done it. Your party has slain Emberburn, the most fearsome and powerful Red Dragon the DM has ever created. The DM stares at you in shock, still staring down at the "1" he rolled on the dragon's last attack. After poking him in the arm for five minutes, chanting "horde....horde.....horde...." over and over, he looks up at you. The look of surprise fades, and an evil grin replaces it. "As it happens," the DM says with glee, "the dragon had cast project image just before the party entered the cavern...".

8. Your mage has an argument with a local spice merchant. Finally, annoyed to the breaking point, he casts charm on the merchant. Sadly, the merchant is a retired 22nd level elven mage. Shaking your head, you reach for the statistic rolling dice once again...

9. Trees can, and often do, explode in huge, 20d6 hit die fireballs. No explanation is ever offfered.

10. Regular rabbits are gone. They have been replaced by the killer-rabbit from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail".