sitting around boredly one day, when your friends suggest you could all go
tell them you're too busy being bored.
play with the matches they're bringing for the campfire.
came up with the whole idea.
nod agreeably and pack a small bag.
jump around happily and offer to bring the food.
begin making stick-crosses to hang on various trees.
decide you'll tag along, for lack of anything better to do.
warn them it's going to rain that night.
offer to save them the trouble and dig out your pet spiders.
2. You all
pack your bags and go out to the middle of the woods. You get out the matches
to make a fire, when suddenly you realize someone has used them all! You...
wonder how you got talked into coming.. but start striking two rocks together
to see if you can make a spark.
hide the evidence.
ask if anyone else has a lighter or match.
grumble, and glare at the one who looks way too innocent.
grab the one you KNOW is responsible and shake them, saying "IT WAS YOU,
are climbing trees and tying your voo-doo dolls in place.
try to comprehend how anyone could use a whole pack of matches in a single
knew that would happen. You have your own little portable lighter you're saving
for the best possible moment.
pretend you have a lighter, and offer to sell it to them for their soul. Or
a couple Cheezits.
Someone had a lighter. You get the fire started, but after half an hour, it
starts to pour down rain. You...
are starting to regret leaving your dutiful boredom.
shake the person who shook you and blame the rain on them.
get out the tents and start setting them up.
grumble and throw your coat over your head.
dance around and sing "raindrops keep falling on my head.."
plot to put a spider in the singer's sleeping bag.
sigh discontentedly, and help set up the tent.
have an umbrella. And stare from beneath it with an "I told you so" gleam
in your eye.
convince a few people near you of the Truth.. There is no rain.
after an hour or so, the rain dies down a bit, and you all crawl out of your
various shelters. Someone brought s'mores and weenie dogs! You...
pass out the weenie dogs and s'mores.
are now playing with the lighter.. and expressing your undying love for the
find some good sticks to toast the weenie dogs with.
plop on the grass and stare up at the sta-.. er... clouds, dreamily.
tell some ghost stories. Just for the helluvit.
are probably the thoughtful one that brought the goodies.
brought your own snack.
point out the problems with every ghost story. Just to be annoying.
5. You're almost
ready to go to bed... But in a nearby tree, you spot hanging stick-figure
voo-doo dolls. You...
immediately suggest leaving. Superstition or not, someone's obviously trying
to mess with you.
roll your eyes and glare at Mister Stick-Figure Maker.
wonder why anyone would hang voo-doo dolls in a tree...
start freaking out. And probably cry.
suggest that spirits might be trapped in the voo-doo dolls.. and that you
should all do a voo-doo doll dance to release them.
slip off to stage your own death at some point.
try to calm the person who's freaking out.
are sleeping, because you know the only sleep you'll get is while they're
awake and occupied.
have the sudden urge to make them move and freak people out even more.
6. Well somehow,
everyone manages to slip back to camp. You spend the night...
building makeshift traps and setting them up at various strategical points.
sleeping fitfully.. just because you don't want to find a spider in your tent.
sharpening your knife and growling.
curled in your sleeping bag with the zipper zipped up above your head. In
someone else's tent.
chanting weird voo-dooish songs... nobody knows quite why. Probably not even
setting up the bloody scene for your friends to see in the morning.
listening to the various sounds of the forest.
snoring peacefully when they let you.
making forest-y sounds to scare your friends every now and then.
finally comes. When you go to examine the tree, you find your friend's bloody
body beneath it! Oh no. You...
immediately suggest they leave. Again. Why doesn't anyone listen to you?
scream and start hacking down all the little dolls on the tree.
try to rationalize to everyone that magic doesn't exist, and their friend
probably just got caught by a wild animal. Or something.
run crying through the woods.
are already screaming because there was a spider in your tent.
can't believe they're actually falling for this... and begin to plot your
undead "rise" from the grave.
run to retrieve the hysterical person who ran off alone.
start looking for moss on the trees and other signs of direction.. After all,
they're going to be annoyed when they realize they have no map.
suspect something. Because you know that guy.
8. Your friends
decide now is a good time to leave. After cleaning up the camp site and scrounging
around your belongings, you all realize you've lost the map! You...
belatedly try to figure out which way is north with the compass you brought.
plot revenge against the person who had the map in the first place.
cover the body in a sleeping bag.
start making a last will and testament.
must have sacrificed the map in that ritual last night...
think this prank is obviously going to waste on people like them.
pack up and wrap the body up, while they determine how to get out of here.
calmly point out the direction they should go. Even though you know they won't
try to convince people that you had the map memorized.. "I'm the map..
It's all up here..."
9. Well you
all trudge single-file in the direction you think the car is. Your order in
the group is...
in the lead. With a couple weapons. Wondering if your friends are trying to
tell you something.
somewhere away from the group, hacking your way through everything in your
in the rear. Because you don't trust anyone now. Especially not that voo-doo
dancing map burner.
sobbing on someone's shoulder.
somewhere near the front. Because you figure whatever it is, it's behind you
being carried. Rather limply. Though you can't say you don't enjoy it..
right next to the most hysterical person... trying to comfort them, or keep
them quiet. Whichever is easier.
somewhere in the middle... because if you're going to die, you're going to
die, and you really don't care either way.
near the back. Walking backwards.
10. You finally
make it back to the car. [whew. that was close.] Suddenly, your friend comes
back to life in the bag. They start moaning and staggering forward as the
sleeping bag falls off them. You...
grab for the nearest sharp object so you can kill him.
tackle him to the ground and beat him to a bloody pulp.
just... shake your head.
scream and rev the engine and try to lock all the doors in the car.
ward yourself against evil and slide into the car with hysterical person number
can't help but smile as you press the button to spray them all with corn syrup
before they can get to you. What, they thought you didn't expect that?
can't say you didn't expect it. After all, you know the person.
somehow, some way, are slightly amused by the whole incident.
are laughing too hard to do anything else.