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Top Ten Signs You Play Too Much D&D
1. Someone says "Why do you have all those numbers tattooed on your hand?", and you reply "Those aren't tattoos, they're die imprints."
2. Your elven fighter has had sex within the last six years - and you haven't.
3. You decide to play a zombie, just so you and your character can have the same skin color.
4. You've been surviving so long on Doritos, Coke, and pizza that your body now contains more plastic than your dice.
5. You can recite, verbatim, every single rule from the DMG….but you can't remember how many kids you have.
6. You sign personal correspondences with your character's name.
7. After months of work, you have made up the entire dwarven language - words, rules of vocabulary, the whole lot. You are bilingual, and can now speak fluid dwarven. Your friends stare at you strangely, and no one will sit on the same side of the table as you.
8. Drug addict and alcoholic friends of yours often stop you to say "Dude, get a grip".
9. Your "If I won the lottery" plans involve creating: (a) a really cool AD&D room, or (b) hiring actors to play monsters so that you and your friends can play AD&D for real.
10. You'd rather get a natural 18 when rolling character statistics than win the lottery.