After killing a shopkeeper because he wouldn't lower his prices: "What ?!?! The constable arrives with troops ??? But the guy was an asshole !".

PC (thief): Zorander (a PC mage) is walking behind me right?

DM: Yes, That's right

PC (thief): Okay, after I enter the building I smash the door in his face and when he falls down I go "check up" on him whilst robbing his gold.

-The thief actually succeeded to get away with Zorander's gold eventhough Zorander found out about the theft.

PC1 (thief) in a crowded tavern: So all the bards are discussing with the tavernkeeper and their instruments are lying on the plateau?

DM: Yup

PC1 (thief): I go on the plateau - grab the harp and try to play "Song 2" by Blur.

PC2 (mage): Me too !! I'll sing the lyrics !

DM: But you both don't have proficiencies to do that right.

PC1 (thief): So?

After sneaking in the home of a poor man: "Whaddaya mean: "The only things of value here are a butterknife and some clothes" ???

DM: You see a spirit appear. It resembles the spirit of the boy you saw earlier. It speaks: "They're coming…"

PC (thief): Again ?!? -This guy annoys me ! I'm throwing a haystack at him.

DM: The haystack passes right through him. -The spirit looks angry and starts to change.

-The PC got chased by an angry spirit all night, while the other party members slept like a baby.

DM: You see the spirits of the missing children. -They are each standing behind a pile of bones.

PC (thief): Do they respond to me in any way?

DM: No, they just stare forward.

PC(thief): Good ! I'll go urinate on the piles of bones !

Party talking to each other: Umm, why is the DM smiling with that evil grin?

-Hey ! Why are you smiling that way ?

Party talking to each other about which passage to take: Shall we go left ? -No, wait.. The DM is smiling when we talk about the left route so it can't be good. -Lets go right !

-The party should've chosen the left route…

The party encountered a swarm of giant centipides (not megalo-centipedes). One of them was was crawling under a mage's robe. A fighter and the mage both tried to grab the monster as it was crawling up the mage's leg. Both made crappy dice rolls so they so they didn't manage to catch the creature. Eventually it bit the mage and the mage was paralized for 6 hours (on a d6 roll). The centipede crawled out of the robe so the fighter tried to step on the critter, but constantly rolled 3's and 4's. Eventually the fighter got pissed and grabbed his composite longbow and killed the centipede. -A lot of efford for a creature with 1hp.

DM: After slaying the giant bats, all that you see is the corridor leading forward, some bat droppings and of course the dead bodies of the bats you just slayed.

PC (thief): I grab the droppings with my gloves and put them in the empty potion bottles.

-The party and the DM all look puzzled

PC (thief): This might come in handy later y'know…